Life is good to me

Tracy of at Beneath My Heart posted this and it gave me some food for thought.

If I Could Live My Life Over

I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the “good” living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television-and more while watching life.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I ‘d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.”
There would have been more “I love you’s”…
more “I’m sorry’s”…
but mostly,
given another shot at life,
I would seize every minute…
look at it, and really see it…
live it…and never give it back.

Written by Erma Bombeck

This makes me reflect on my life. Though my pregnancy was hard, it was worth it. I'm only now starting to really realize the cost of becoming a mother. Of course it's all definitly worth it, but it's something you don't really expect. I never really thought about it costing me my body, since it has really changed since the birth; or my free time, free choices, sleep, energy, etc. But I have to say that everytime I see her smile, or the beautiful look she gives me when she wakes in the morning makes it completely worth it. 

I feel like it's a fair trade off. Maybe there are things that I enjoy that are hard for me to do now, with a little baby, BUT I've done so much in my life and gone so many places, probably much more than the average person, so I wanted to reflect on some of the good times and blessings that have brought me to where I am now. 

*Warning: Lots of pictures*

After high school my parents and I got to go to Spain!

I was blessed to be able to go to 3 colleges. Snow, BYU, and MCC. This was at BYU.

Me and my roomates (except one, we're missing Summer). We had some great times!

For two years I was lucky enough to work next to Zion National Park, which is my most FAVORITE PLACE in the WORLD!

Rappelling in Orderville Canyon (Zion)

Subway Canyon in Zion (my favorite canyon...so far).

Rappelling and hiking. It's truely beautiful there.

More ZP (Zion Ponderosa) pics. 

Playing in a mud pit, taking myself on adventures (at the set of Gunsmoke), and photo safari's with Becca  :)

And of course all my many different hair styles and colors, have been fun!

Everywhere I go, I've been blessed with great friends!

I wish I had more pics including everyone. There's Keary and Andrea and Andrea's little Ryen in the one above. Then a pic of Jess and me at EFY. 

I got to live in mexico as a child, and I get to go back all the time so see amazing family!

I've been blessed with awesome extended family...cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, great aunts, second cousins, etc.

Here's Lecith and I in their home in Mexico.

And of course my family have always been a huge strength and blessing to me.

Incredible parents and amazing siblings. I love them all so much!

And of course, meeting the love of my life, sparked the real beginning of my life.

Here he is after I told him I liked redheads, and short hair ;)

Ben and I got married and it's been the happiest day...days of my life ever since. 

And I got married in the wedding dress of my dreams!

Honeymoon in Cancun (so great!)

And just over a year later, little Rowan Nicole joined our family.

We LOVE her so much!

I have had a very fulfilling life. 

And I'm grateful for all my incredible experiences and blessings. LIFE IS GOOD!

Vote for Little Rowan!

Rowan is in a little picture contest at Captivated Candids, and the winner gets a free photo session in Utah. Since we'll be there in the winter I thought I'd enter her. :)

So, click THIS link and vote for her with your comment! She's #26 (same picture as here). Thanks!

Things on my mind

I've been thinking about the priorities of my day...I think they may be a little twisted.

#1. Rowan

Her sleeping/waking/eating/playing/entertaining/tummy time-ing...etc...

#2. Hmm...kinda embarrassing but here goes: Email/Facebook

#3. Laundry

#4. Researching (items for my upcoming jewelry "business"...just on Etsy). I look up all sorts of materials that I dream up. Sometimes look for inspiration.

#5. Getting ready for the day. Okay, I'm not like a complete mess, I promise! I usually shower in the evening when Ben gets home so that he can take care of the little one. Usually when I have a minute in the morning I'll put on a little...little bit of makeup, and pull my hair up somehow. But if I'm not planning on going anywhere I might just leave it at that and stay in the comfy house clothes known as PJs. :)

#6. Eating. Here's where I think I'm mostly out of whack. It can be like almost 1 o'clock and I won't have eaten anything because all of the things above, or usually just #1, will take up most of my time. Hmm...maybe I need to revise that. Actually I just started the 11 day diet (that Ben used before we got married), and it requires 4 meals a day so I think I'll be better about eating from now on.

And don't worry, I don't think I'm really fat and I don't have self-esteem issues, really. My biggest reason for getting back to my old size is that I really, really miss my clothes. And shopping for that size is soooo much easier! I'm especially dying to wear my favorite jeans again. So, that's my motivation. And I'm going to need motivation 'cause tomorrow is an all fruit day, and as much as I seriously LOVE fruit, it's the hardest day of all 11. You never feel full and you're just aching for some carbs!

Woah, I got off on a tangent...

#7. Errands. These actually scare me, since the last couple times we've gone out (last week), little pretty has thrown such a tantrum that I'm actually afraid that she's hurting herself by screaming that way. So...I'll admit I've been avoiding taking her out. But that can't last forever and she'll have to come with me some places, so we'll see about that later.

#8. Cleaning. Sad that it's at the bottom of the list, but I try a little here and there everyday. Some dishes one day, pick up the living room the next. You know, a little at a time, but I probably never have a completely clean house...but who does, right?? ;)

Most of all it's #1 that times my time, energy and focus. So everything else may, on occasion, just have to wait 'till the next day. It all depends on her :)

I guess I'm in a talkative mood right

now...or maybe a writing mood. It's probably 'cause I'm sleep deprived, tired, but not sleepy and very awake, which makes me kinda hyper. Oh and I've got lots of thoughts rolling through my head 'cause I just finished another book. Gosh! I just love books!!!

So, I just finished reading "The Host" by Stephenie Meyer (Twilight series writer, I'm sure you know). I had been told a long time ago that it wasn't that good, and to not waste my time, so I read a few pages in (at the bookstore), and decided I wouldn't read it. Well, Laura and Maryanne (my neighbors and friends) told me that they really liked it and that I should give it another try. Well, after I got past the first little part, I was hooked! I really liked it. And I'm very comfortable with S. Meyer's writing style. It's somewhat predictable, and she's into drama, grief, pain, love, hope, but ultimately happy endings (at least so far that's what she's written). I'm not always into happy endings, but for the most part I am.

There are many books that I'm sure have influenced her writing, but the ones I found (by way of her writing, or the way the story led) in this book were: Harry Potter, especially #7; Ender's Game (or maybe Speaker of the Dead, which I know she really likes); ohh there were some more, but now I can't think of them. Probably part of the sleep deprivation.

I've also been thinking of the miracle of life! I can't help it every time I see my little girl. I think to myself so many things: "Wow, how amazing God is that he made my body able to have ME make YOU! And you have a life! You're a real life with a soul and actions and moods and choices! How am I so LUCKY that I get to be your Mother! ...Wow the word is still weird to me. I'm a Mother? Still, I LOVE it! You're my responsibility, and that's a HUGE responsibility!!! To raise you, and the right way, but I want to do it."

I keep thinking to myself: okay, it's time to stop being the carefree young adult I once was. I've gotta try to become more like those that raised me because they did it right, and I know of no better way to do it for her. I've got to become more selfless, caring, tidy, organized, mature (in some sense of the word, 'cause I don't think I'll ever REALLY grown up), charitable, trusting...of myself and of others, especially my "partner in crime" ;) These things I need to be, just like my role models: My parents. Because I want to be as good as a parent as they were to me. Because in my eyes they were, and are, perfect. I know I won't come close to that, but I'm going to do my best to try. :)

Well, that's it for tonight. I think I wrote enough that I can go to sleep now. Maybe all I needed was to get some of my thoughts out of my head and on paper...I mean online. Goodnight!

Halloween in the 20's!

For Halloween this year I had a number of ideas for costumes for the 3 of us.....buuuut, none of them really worked out. The Wednesday before Halloween was our ward Halloween party so, I had to have something! Here's what I came up with for that night.

I grabbed one of my many costumes, a fringe flapper dress that I got years ago at Savers for $7. Woohoo! And I thought of a way to get us all to tie in together. For Rowan I needed some supplies. Laura and I ran to the fabric store. I got some stretchy black velvet (on sale), and

fringe and some sequence (sp? I don't think I've never written that word before). Also, some stretchy sequence trimming to make a headband.

Sorry the image isn't very clear. The dress was a REALLY quick throw together. I didn't even do a very secure stitch. Just wanted her to have something to wear...but I think it turned out fairly well for being completely spur of the moment. It was a lot of fun to go to the Ward party with Laura (Ben was studying). They took almost a whole street in a neighborhood. And there were different booths at different houses...cake walk, bean toss, haunted house (in a garage), fishing game, etc... And the Hot Dogs were great!

On Halloween night we went to Carrabba's for dinner with some friends and of course we dressed up!

And here's some glam shots, for fun!

Can't waste all the effort I put into that makeup right? ;D

Crying Babies

Does anyone else go into a panic when their child starts to scream in the middle of a public place? Or a party? Or any group of people? It's funny 'cause when we're at home I can pick her up and she'll generally stop crying, but when we're out and about...nothing will stop her. Of course I try to act calm, but inside I'm thinking "PLEASE, PLEASE STOP CRYING!" or "What's the fastest way out of this place?"

Of course if she cries at home, well no big deal, but when I have to subject others to it I feel aweful! I know, I know...it's a phase, it's a part of motherhood, and I have to just deal with it. But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna like it. It really puts me out of sorts to have her loose it like that in front of others, then I feel like I don't wanna go grocery shopping, or to the craft store, walmart, etc.

What's funny is that there really isn't anything in life that causes me to panic or freak out 'cause it's all within my control. At least my reaction and presence are in my control, so whatever happens to me doesn't matter because I can react cooly everytime since it's MY decision. Here's the problem: Her crying and actions are not my decision, they're hers. And since she is my responsibility it's like others look at me like it is my decision. Oops, sorry, have you ever had children? ... No? Well, it's like this. No control.

Don't get me wrong... please don't think I'm complaining! I sincerely and dearly love this little girl and would do everything and anything for her wellbeing. She is one of the two best blessings of my life, and she is just perfect! Except for screaming in public places.

So, I guess this is a confession. Yes, I do get flustered sometimes, and yes I do go into a panic mode sometimes...and those sometimes are when my little girl looses her cool in front of others. So if I ever act strange or flustered when the little cutie decideds it's time to let it all out...well, that's why. Oh, and I also feel terrible when she freaks out and someone else is holding her. Not because I'm possesive at all, I really want her to be used to having lots of friends and family hold her, but because I feel like they've been burdened with listening to her scream or maybe they're holding her out of kindness, but really they want to put her down...something like that. So, all in all...just ignore me if I start to act weird because the little darling has just had it for the day. Thanks!

My Family and celebrities

Recently Ben and I rented "The Proposal", and it reminded me of the fact that Sandra Bullock always reminds me of Michelle, my sister. It's not just looks, of course they're both gorgeous, but the way she talks and certain movements, etc. Come to think of it almost all my family have a celebrity that reminds me of them. Will Smith reminds me of my brother Robert. They're both cool and funny, but serious too...and dashing dressers. Scott Baio (aka: Charles in Charge) reminded me of my brother Mike, but only as Charles in Charge. Maybe it's because they both always had nice dark, thick hair, and great surprising smiles. What's funny is that Robert's name is Roberto Carlos and we used to call him Charlie...well, many still do, but anyway, we'd always say that he was 'Charles in Charge', so it's a bit ironic. Then there's Bill Cosby who has always made me think of my Dad. They're both really funny and they do have some features that make them look similar...to me anyway. And I always remember watching the Cosby Show when I was younger with my Dad, then that makes me think of all the shows we used to watch when I was a child: Cheers, The Cosby Show, eventually Home Improvement and others. Then there's my Mama. Mom actually doesn't have a celebrity that reminds me of her. I guess she's just so wonderfully unique that there's no one like her. Well, judge the pictures yourself and tell me if you can see any resemblance. ;)

Baby Einstein

Hooray for Baby Einstein! It actually keeps Rowan entertained for at least 20 minutes, and I love it! Since we got back from California last Sunday she's been acting rather off. She cries all the time and sleeps much shorter periods. It's hard to get anything done at all! And I'm in the middle of trying to get jewelry made to sell on Etsy.com. I thought she was too young for the DVDs, but while she was crying and nothing was working I figured "why not try it?" Well, I did and she actually likes it. Especially when they show the shiney objects...I guess she's like a racoon in that way ;) Anyway, I'm so glad that at least for a little while I can get some jewelry made or some laundry done. :D